Today marks the end of the second week of my challenge to keep a gratitude journal through until the end of the year. I have noticed that over these two weeks I am beginning to observe smaller moments that I am stopping and enjoying amongst the hectic and stressful pace of life. Today’s three moments, I think, captures this perfectly.

Time with kids being dad.
One of the things I love about my Saturdays is getting to spend time watching my kids do things. Sitting at a local sports venue watching one of them flourish in their chosen sport, smiling, improving, laughing and having a great time. It makes me remember why I do what I do every day – to provide these opportunities for them to have an amazing life and grow in their gifts and talents. I am grateful that I can have Saturdays to do this and connect, I know not everyone has that opportunity.

Random hugs.
While at the sports venue, the youngest would randomly come up to me and just give me a random big hug and announce “I just want to give you a big squish”. I am grateful for that authentic love and affection that is shown and cherish the moments I am the recipient of it.

Couch time.
I was sitting on the couch completing some work and the eldest came in an sat down next to me. I asked “what’s up” and the response was “nothing, I just want to sit with you.” I am grateful that they just want to hangout, may I never lose sight of these times and moments as being what it important in life.

Today I am grateful for the generosity that people continue to show towards me. This may seem a little cliche, but I want to especially focus on the small things: coffee for a meeting, authentic conversations, and open selfless actions for the benefit of others.

Coffee for a meeting.
Friday mornings we have our Pastoral Care meeting during Period One. Every meeting our Head of Senior School, John, brings us all a cup of coffee or beverage of our choice for us to have during the meeting. This act of kindness is not necessary but models a level of generosity and appreciation for all the team members and helps to build community between all of us. I am grateful for the authentic care that he show for us as a team.

Authentic conversations.
One of my colleagues who is also a great friend came by my office to share some amazing news about one of their children. I was asked if I had time to come for a walk and further chat, despite having work to get done I felt that this was the opportunity to connect and went for the walk and talk. We shared deeply and openly due to the time being made for connection. I am grateful for having colleagues in my life who have become friends, that there is a true meeting and connection in living life together. It has also reminded me of the importance in always putting people first before tasks and jobs – jobs can always be done later people are with us for a shorter moment of time.

Open selfless actions for others.
I am grateful for the selflessness of my wonderful wife. I got home to have confirmed that she had been booked to work night shift. I am grateful of the contribution this makes to our family in providing opportunities to our kids and paying for the food that we eat each week.

This week, some personal experiences combined with one of the books I am reading has made me reflect on setbacks, rejection, adversity, and bumps in the road of life and how we deal with these when they come along. It has made me reflect on my own resilience, how I have responded when faced with adversity and used these as opportunities for reflection and growth. It has also made me grateful for each these experiences for while it is painful in the short term, I know that time and time again these have been used as motivation for continued growth and feeling my own personal drive for excellence.

Sorry you have finished second.
I think that most people have heard this phrase in over the course of their life whether it is through having applied for a job that they just missed out on, an audition for a part in show, or coming second in a competition. My personal experience is that the bitterest pill to swallow is when the phrase is combined with phrases like “you’ve just missed out”, “there is nothing I can give you feedback wise – you’re just unlucky as there was someone better”, or “we don’t know how you’ve missed out”. I can think of many times that I have experienced all of the above but I am grateful because everyone of these have provided me an opportunity for growth and show gratitude through my response to the disappointment. I believe that how I respond in these times is a reflection of my character and it is in these moments where who I truly I am needs to shine through. I am grateful for the people who provide me the opportunity to seek feedback to grow from these experiences and discuss the reasoning behind the decisions made. Interestingly, on a number of occasions I have found in doing this it has led to me being given other opportunities that open up in the future.

Drive for improvement.
I am reminded of a quote from “Batman – The Dark Knight Rises” about failure. “What do we do when a fall down – we get back up again” while it may seem so simple I do believe that it is one of the keys that I have always had to working through setbacks. Putting it simply, after a period of feeling disappointed, I reflect personally, receive feedback from people collectively, reflect again personally and then get back on with what’s in front of me. I must admit that my personality to prove people wrong also tends to kick in and I end up using the setback as motivation for further growth to try and not end up having the same result the next time round. I have done this many times: Hockey when I missed representing Western Australia due to not trialling well one year to come back and get selected the next; Music – missing out on the course I wanted to do and meeting with the people telling them I would be driven to succeed and pursue music which lead to me being offered a position when a withdrawal occurred; or in various roles at work. I am grateful for the ability to be able to not stay still and ruminate on what could have been, instead lifting my eyes back to the multiple other opportunities that are untapped out there waiting to be explored. Of course, this philosophy and ability would not have been possible (I believe) without the support of others around me.

People who have called me out.
I am grateful for the trusted people I have in my life, especially my wife who is also my best friend, my closest friends, mentors at work and family who speak truth into my life during these times. They all help me reflect by listening but also, when the time is right, provide encouragement with how I can grow – sometimes this means giving some hard truths and realities about how I need to grow and also asking the challenging questions as to whether certain opportunities align with my worldview and life philosophy – is it something that I would passionate about. It does go further than this though, right back to my childhood from my parents who would always be supportive but not allow us to dwell too long on disappointment. We were taught to embrace disappointment, acknowledge it and then move on. Control what is in your control and let the rest go, don’t worry about it.

I am grateful for these lessons, I do believe that it continues to help me deal with any setback that comes in life.

As I sit and reflect on today I can’t help but think about how grateful I am for having the opportunity, ability and capacity to learn and grow. I am aware that not everyone has had the same opportunities as me, I am very fortunate and privileged to have the upbringing, friends, family, education, and experiences that I have had over my life. These have helped shape me, form my values and philosophy on life, and provided me the skills to continue to learn and grow. These are things that I know can be taken for granted.

The ability to read.
I am grateful for the ability to read and comprehend information. As I reflect over my life this ability has been fundamental in me being able grow and develop in my skills, knowledge, understanding, and practise. I am currently reading two books, both on different aspects of development and growth with one being on Grit while the other on working with boys in their teenaged years and helping support them to grow into good men through rites of passage. If I couldn’t read, I would not be able to integrate this practise into my day and would therefore my growth would be inhibited. I would not be the only person who lost in this situation as whatever I read I try to reflect and practise until a habit is formed in my life – those in my spheres of influence who I interact with everyday would therefore also be inhibited in their growth as I wouldn’t have as much to offer.

People and mentors.
The interaction with significant other people in my has directly influenced my ability to learn and grow. I believe that the saying the a man is not meant to be an island is completely true – we learn and are influenced by the people that we associate and live life with: “”as iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another”. It is important to note that this can be either positive or negative depending on who the people are which is why surrounding yourself with people who will lift you up, challenge you to be all you can be, celebrating the good times, calling out poor behaviours, and supporting in the heartaches of life is so important. It also means to be careful about who you allow to speak into your life and have those places of importance – not everyone’s opinion or feedback actually matters, there is a responsibility to “guard your heart for it is the well-spring of life”. I am thankful for the people who do this for me in my life, it isn’t something that I have said to them often enough but definitely an area I have been working improving indecent times.

Education.
My love for learning and wanting to grow has been born out of the education experiences I was provided as child. I went to a good school, had great teachers (I didn’t agree with all of them), was connected to good friends and had a family that set high expectations of excellence in terms of being the best that you can be which is different to needing to be the best. I believe that these set me up to be a lover of learning and has helped motivate me to continue to grow.

Today marked the second day back at school for Term Four which saw a slight increase in the workload from a face-to-face point of view due to recommencing of my bassoon students and being the first Concert Band rehearsal. While this does add an additional “busy” factor to my days, I am forever grateful for the opportunities that teaching music has provided to me – without it I wouldn’t be who or where I am.

Connection with students.
The first lessons back after a holiday for some music teachers can be a frustrating one due to having the knowledge that many students won’t have spent the consistent time practising over the holidays – even the most diligent can sometimes slip up. If we stop as adults and think about this, we’d realise that there are many adults who would fall into this same category of when routines change (such as holidays) habits can also be impacted. I find that this doesn’t bother me, rather I am grateful for the opportunity to be able to reconnect with my students, find out what they have done over the holidays, and encourage them to pick things back up and start working in partnership towards whatever goals they have.

Mentoring.
My philosophy of teaching is that I am not necessarily just teaching content, but rather life skills and providing an example of how to be a good person. Due to its nature of being either one-on-one or small group settings the instrumental teaching that I do provides me with a unique opportunity to be doing this. I am grateful for the opportunity to be able (hopefully) make a positive impact on the lives of the students that I teach by being a mentor to them. Hopefully I can inspire them musically, but even above that inspire them to develop excellence of character that will positively impact the word in which we all live.

Opportunity.
I am grateful for my school providing me the opportunity to continue to teach instrumentally. Due to the other duties that I fulfil throughout my day close look has needed to be paid to the number of contact hours that I can have. I am grateful to the leadership who have worked in supporting me and acknowledge the additional things I have done including learning new instruments to a professional standard to provide opportunities for students at school.

Today marked the return to school for the commencement of Term Four. I had already decided that this would be the ultimate test into whether I could keep routines and habits started during the holidays going – the next three weeks would be important for the mindfulness exercises, stretches, runnings, and looking for moments of gratitude and appreciation. All this inside the context of being a pastoral care leader in a school environment where you never know what could be coming next. Overall, I was amazed with the difference the habits made to the beginning of my day.

Connectedness.
The first thing that I find myself being grateful for today is the connectedness to community. I had several incredible conversations with colleagues today, but one stood out for me – the “excitedness” of one colleague when she asked whether it was true that they’d be joining Chaney House (the Pastoral House that I oversee) as a Tutor next year. their joy at knowing that they’d be coming into Chaney and working as a member of our team, the excitement and energy was amazing to share in and invigorating for me. I know that their excitement will flow over into providing amazing care for the boys in they are responsible for journeying with over their time in the Senior School. I a m grateful for colleagues so switched on and passionate about looking after our boys.

Stepping up and going beyond.
There are times that due to teaching being a vocation that teachers’ silliness to go the extra mile and step up can be overlooked. I was blown away today by another one of the pastoral staff in Chaney. They started with a new group today due to necessary staff changes because of someone taking another job opportunity. Not only were they willing to step up and take on this group (a commitment for the next two years) but the level of care they showed right from day one with these boys makes me grateful to know they are in good hands. I am grateful for being able to work with this colleague and can’t wait to see the continued growth in them as they pastorally care for this group of young men.

Parents taking the time to say thank you.
One of the jobs that I have in my role is organising some of the additional events for various year groups, this includes the Year 11 Mother and Son Dinner which is occurring later this month. I received a beautiful email of appreciation from a mum who has bought her tickets and looking forward to the evening with her son. The appreciation she showed in her words for all the staff at the school for putting on these additional events to partner with parents just made my day. The power of thanks and appreciation.

It may seem a bit funny to title a diary entry “reflection” when really that’s what every journal entry, a reflection on what has happened throughout the last 24 hours. However, I really feel that this theme as the school holidays come to a close is an important one in itself that shouldn’t be missed.

School holidays at a close.
Today marked the last day of school holidays and I am grateful for this. Not because of the going back to school, but rather because the experiences that I have had over this time off has given me a chance to stop, look inward, reflect, and take action into how I want my life and, as a result, the impact I can have on those around me to be. This is especially as I start the next term.
I am grateful for my colleague and good friend John giving me a copy of “The Resilience Project” and me making the time to read it over the holidays – it really resonated and rekindled a number of thoughts I have regarding wellbeing and how to live well.

Growth and celebration.
I am grateful for my wife and her playing soccer this year. The example that this has set for our kids into it being important for both mum and dad to have things in their life which they love and enjoy and that we celebrate the successes of each family member. This culminated yesterday with her team winning the Cup in their division. It was against the odds with the team they were playing a division higher and having been undefeated the entire season. A test of character, resilience and discipline as they managed to win it on penalties after being one – nil down. I am so proud of the achievement and grateful she has gotten to experience this with her team mates.

Family conversation.
My kids at dinner time have now jumped on the gratitude band wagon themselves. They have started sharing the things they are grateful for every night when we gather. Tonight was a bit of changed version with every member needing to list the five things they were grateful for that occurred during the holidays. I feel like there’s already some wins happening there – now to keep it happening during school term when things get busy!